OH MY CARLISLE! 20 Ways to Annoy Twilight People
by BandGeek99
Summary: Basically, the title says it all. Inspired by the Deimon Commander from Hell's story. Now: Rosalie Hale! Next: Carlisle Cullen! Oh, my, this shall be fun... Chapter Eight is UP after an inexcusably long wait. Gomen nasai! Hilarity ensues!
1. 20 Ways to Annoy BELLA!

OH MY CARLISLE! 20 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters – by BandGeek99

**Hey, everyone! For those of you who are reading this and are saying, "Gee, who are you? It says you've written ten other stories, but I've never read them before in my life!" my name is BandGeek and I'm usually a Harry Potter/Anime/Manga author. I just read Twilight and I decided that I'd get a good list in.**

**For those of you who have me on Author Alert for stories like "Life is Full of Suprises" and "Double Destiny" and all my anime/manga stories, well, keep reading! If you don't know a thing about Twilight, don't read though, cuz otherwise it's hard to follow.**

**I was bored in Spanish class and my thoughts started to drift to Bldlf's, "20 Ways to Annoy Adventure 01 and 02 Characters!" and I decided to write one for Twilight. I drew a cover for it and everything! The cover is now in possession of my friend bellaedward247love. **

**This is dedicated to Bldlf, who gave me the idea and to Becka, Michelle, Jill, bellaedward247love, gracie41, and Brilliant Innocence for their help with writing this. Luv you all! xxMUAH!!xx**

**DISCLAIMER: me no own Twilight. Twilight Stephenie Meyer. Sorry.**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Bella Swann!

1. Put her in a bathtub filled with blood.

2. Watch her and laugh as you see her get sick.

3. Run away when she tries to attack you for laughing at her.

4. Tell her that Edward is dead.

5. Laugh while you watch her cry.

6. Tell her that JACOB killed Edward.

7. Laugh as she goes out to kill Jacob.

8. Tell her that Emmett "met" her mother.

9. Tell her that Charlie hates her cooking.

10. Lock her in the mall… with Alice.

11. Have extreme makeover week.

12. Give Bella a duck with a bite mark in it, shrug, and say, "Edward got hungry."

13. "Break" her truck.

14. DENY IT!!

15. Tell her that the Cullens moved to Russia and took Jacob with them…

16. …as a pet.

17. Tell her that Edward thinks she's ugly.

18. Say that Esme doesn't like her and doesn't want her and Edward to go out EVER AGAIN!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

19. Watch her cry.

20. Laugh. Hard.

Bella slammed a fist onto her computer desk and started sobbing. "It's not fair! Why do they have to pick on me?!"

Edward, who was reading a Mark Twain book on her bed, stood up and leaned over her shoulder to read what someone had e-mailed her.

His face became stony and he gave off angry vibes. "I swear to God, if I ever find this person, I'm going to KILL THEM!!"

000

**Hahaha, I had so much fun writing this chapter. I'll try to update soon!**

**Peace, Love, and Billabong (lol).**

**--BandGeek--**


	2. 20 Ways to Annoy EDWARD!

Okay

**Okay. I officially hate the wind. Yesterday while I was typing the second chapter, the wind was blowing so hard it knocked out the power in the house. (sigh) Sometimes I really hate living in New England…**

**Oh, well! Everything's better now cuz IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! (does happy dance) Uh huh… go BandGeek… it's your birthday… go BandGeek…**

**KENNY: Oh, boy. She could be a while.**

**VARIOUS FANS: Yay! Kenny's back!**

**ME: (glares at Kenny) Yes, my best friend and muse is back.**

**KENNY: BandGeek doesn't own Twilight. That's the property of Stephenie Meyer, the genius behind the books. **

**ME: I'm just… borrowing them. Heheheh… Anyways, ENJOY!**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Edward Cullen!

1. Give him a duck with a bite mark in it and say, "Bella got hungry."

2. Tell him that Rosalie killed Bella.

3. Laugh when he goes to kill Rosalie.

4. Take his prized CD collection.

5. When he demands you give it back, warn him that you have a pack of angry werewolves behind you.

6. If he doesn't believe you, release them.

7. If he _does_ believe you, release them anyway.

8. Tell him that Bella is pregnant…

9. …with Jacob.

10. Laugh when he freaks out.

11. Run away when he finds out it's not true.

12. When he's thirsty, lock him in the closet with a human.

13. Lock him in a room with Jacob and take bets on who makes it out alive.

14. Tell him that Bella doesn't really love him.

15. Whoop his butt in DDR.

16. Whoop his butt in Guitar Hero III.

17. Tell him that the end of eternity he'll go to hell.

18. Then tell him that Bella's going to heaven.

19. Smash his piano with a hammer – repeatedly.

20. Inform him that Rose and Emmett spoiled the backseat of his car, doing… something.

Edward's stony face scrunched up in anger. "Who _is_ this person?"

"What person?" Emmett asked, trotting up behind his brother. His eyes read the list at vampire speed and his mouth expanded into a huge grin. "Wow, Edward, I guess that somebody really knows how to piss you off."

Edward narrowed his eyes at Emmett, who was guffawing over numbers 8 through 11. _"I guess everyone in this family is a suspect…"_ he thought. _"I must trust no-one."_

**000**

**Okay. Whaddya think? I got so many great reviews (luv u, alecluvr46! And u, bellaedward247love!) from so many great people. I'll try to update again today!**

**Luv,**

**BandGeek**


	3. 20 Ways to Annoy JACOB!

Tadaaaaaa

**Tadaaaaaa! It's me! Again! **

**I'm watching the English dub of Fruits Basket. It's pretty darn awesome, 'cept that Yuki sounds way to strong and confident and everything for his character and the dub is pretty dramatic. Oh well. Drama awesome! Shigure is amazing, though. He makes me laugh, his voice is perfect. At first I thought Tohru's voice was way too high, and then I was like, you know what? Screw the narrow-mindedness. It's perfect for her! XD**

**OH MY CARLISLE! I just heard Kyo's voice and I was like, OH MY CARLISLE! He's so cool! Squee! It was so deep and angry and adorable and cool and OHMEGEE IT WAS AH-MAZING!! (Dude, I think I was just a total ditz back there… heh… oh well! I'm a pineapple – brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside! BEAST!)**

**You know what I just realized? Bella is a lot like Tohru, Kyo is a lot like Jacob and Edward is a lot like Yuki. If you don't know what I mean when I talk about this stuff, whatever. Let's just say that I'm a huge anime fan and make connections to real life and other books/movies. Kyo is really hotheaded, Yuki is calmer with a dark past, and Tohru is this happy, bubbly girl who is bestowed with Kyo and Yuki's family's secret. The manga series is Fruits Basket and I LOVE IT!!**

**Anyhoo, here's the update. Kenny?**

**KENNY: BandGeek doesn't own anybody. They're all property of Ms. Meyer.**

**ENJOY!**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Jacob Black!

1. When he's in his wolf form, steal his pants.

2. Tell him that Bella doesn't really like him.

3. Tell him that Edward bit Bella.

4. Tell him that Emmett thinks he's smexi.** (snickers) **

5. Crash his Volkswagen Rabbit.

6. Burn down his garage.

7. Laugh when he cries.

8. Show him a picture of Bella and Edward kissing.

9. When he cries, laugh hard.

10. When he's a wolf and not paying attention, shave all the fur on his rear end off.

11. Ask if he howls at the moon.

12. Buy him a load of dog toys.

13. Kidnap his pack and demand a one million dollar ransom.

14. When he demands that you give them back without the money, warn him that you have a herd of newborn vampires behind you.

15. If he doesn't believe you, let 'em rip.

16. If he _does_ believe you, let 'em rip anyway.

17. Have a she-dog fall in love with his wolf form.

18. Laugh when she follows him around.

19. Give him Daisuke's D-3 and tell him he's a Chosen one.

20. Laugh when Daisuke tries to get his D-3 back.

"How could the possibly do that to me, Bella?!" Jacob cried, his voice high with hysteria, his finger jutting at the print copy of the e-mail he'd received. "How could they?!"

"You got one too?!" Bella exclaimed, eyes widening anime-style. "So did Edward and I!"

Jacob snorted. "Why would anyone write a stupid list about your blood- I mean, Edward? He's a pretty cool-headed guy."

"Hey, I can get pretty violent," Edward put in, climbing through Bella's window. "I'm not as mellow as I look."

"Hey, hun," Bella said cheerily, smiling and kissing Edward on the cheek.

"Hi, Bells. Hello, Jacob."

"Edward," Jacob said curtly, trying hard to be polite.

"So what's all this about a list?" Edward asked Bella.

"Jacob got a list in his e-mail that read '20 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black'," Bella explained and Jacob handed the vampire the papers.

Edward cocked an eyebrow. "Your screen name is TheKillers4Life? Does that mean you secretly like us, Jacob?"

"THE KILLERS ARE A BAND, DAMMIT!" Jacob snapped, a classic anime anger vein showing up on his head.

"I know they're a band, I love their song 'Can You Read My Mind?'. Anyways, I got a list too," Edward said bitterly, his fist tightening around the papers."

"Do you know who sent it?"

"SilverSunPickupsFanatic."

"Who's that?"

"It could be anyone."

The two boys spoke silently with their eyes and thoughts and made a truce, shaking hands.

"Let's get 'em," Jacob said, growling.

**000**

**Okay, I just wanna clear some stuff up. **

**SilverSunPickupsFanatic is the username for Sora in another one of my stories. Don't go looking for it quite yet, I don't wanna post it till I've finished another story. The Silver Sun Pickups are one of my favorite bands, and so are the Killers.**

**And I put in an anime reference in. Daisuke is Daisuke Motomiya (aka Davis) from Digimon 02.**

**Anywayz, reviews make me happy! (wink wink, nudge nudge)**

**I'll post soon.**

**--BandGeek--**


	4. 20 Ways to Annoy CHARLIE!

Hi, it's me again

**Hi, it's me again! I don't know if I'll be able to update this fast anymore cuz I have other stories and stuff, but I'll do my best!**

**Anyway, today I have… this chapter!**

**KENNY: BandGeek doesn't own anybody. 'Cept SilverSunPickupsFanatic, like she said in the last chappie.**

**ME: Thank you. Now, on with the show! Er, story!**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Charlie Swann!

1. Take his handgun and replace it with a water pistol.

2. Burn all of his pants.

3. Secretly set up a video camera.

4. Tell him that Bella is marrying Jacob.

5. Make sure the tape is recording him jumping for joy.

6. Tell him that you were only kidding and that Bella is eloping to Tokyo with Edward.

7. Make sure the tape is recording him flipping out.

8. Post the tape on YouTube and show everyone in Forks.

9. Run away before he finds out it was you.

10. Take his picture of Renée and draw facial hair on her face.

11. Burn his fishing pole.

12. Drive his cruiser into the Pacific Ocean.

13. Blame Emmett.

14. Drop hints that there's somebody out to get him and laugh when he hides and barricades the door.

15. Have Aro dress up as Dracula and watch when Charlie flips out.

16. Put bits of glass in his food and blame Bella.

17. Hide the remote and watch as he searches the whole house.

18. Cut off the power to the house and tape him going insane because he can't watch the Sox game.

19. Empty his wallet and take all his money.

20. Force him to watch "I Love Lucy" reruns all day and don't let him watch sports.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Charlie screamed, his loud, deep voice filling the house.

"What now, Dad?" Bella groaned, coming into the kitchen where her dad was checking his e-mail on his laptop.

"I just got the stupidest e-mail!" her father replied, staring at the screen with obvious distaste and disdain. "Its subject is '20 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swann'."

"Holy cow, Dad!" Bella exclaimed. "Print a copy of that!"

"Why?"

"Edward and Jacob got lists like that too. We're going to see if we can figure out who's sending them."

Charlie stood up. "That's a man's job, Bella. Me, Jacob, and Edward will go and fight valiantly till we find the mastermind."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that."

**Okay, that chappie's done. (wipes brow) Whoo…**

**Well, I'll update soon! BTW, in the last chap (I know it didn't come out – I'll fix that later), Jacob's e-mail address was supposed to be **TheKillers4Life (at) **. Sorry about that. I'll fix it!**

**Well, I hoped you like this!**

**--BANDGEEK--**


	5. 20 Ways to Annoy ALICE!

Its me again

**Its me again! I'm back in black and ready to RUMBLE!**

**Ok, ok, sorry. Spazz attack…**

**Finally, after many days of Twilight writer's block… (I was fine cuz I wrote for Fruits Basket)… I wrote 20 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen! I hope you enjoy, but gomen for the wait! (Gomen means sorry.)**

**Have fun reading!**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Alice Cullen!

1. Dress her up as a fortune teller…

2. …and sit her down in front of a crystal ball…

3. …and take money from innocent humans who want their future told.

4. Burn down all the malls in North America…

5. …and tell her that they won't be rebuilt.

6. Watch her cry and LAUGH!

7. Ban makeup.

8. Hold up her favorite top in front of her.

9. Burn it.

10. Crash her Porsche…

11. …or steal her Porsche.

12. DENY IT!

13. Ask if she reads tea leaves.

14. Tell her that she can't really see the future because she can't read tea leaves.

15. Watch her throw a fit because she _knows_ she's right and you're not.

16. Tell her that Jasper doesn't really like her.

17. Tell her that Bella hates her.

18. Take away her credit cards.

19. Call her a hobbit because she's so short.

20. Tell her that Rose thinks she's smexi.

"I should have seen this coming," Alice groaned, slamming her head down on the table in the kitchen where she was checking her e-mail.

"Not a list," Edward groaned, knowing it almost instantly.

"Yep, a list," she said back.

"Dammit! Who keeps sending these things?!" Jacob snapped, jumping up as a classic anime anger vein showed up on his head.

"I know! This is driving me crazy!" Edward said, leaning his head on the kitchen cabinet.

"I'm so tired of you two trying to figure out who it is," Esme said, pouring a glass of something that resembled Kool-Aid into the cup.

Jacob looked at it with obvious disdain. "Is that-?"

"Blood? Yes. It's from a rabbit," Edward said, enjoying his new partner's ever greening face.

Alice snickered.

Suddenly, "Mr. Brightside" started playing from somebody's pocket.

"Oops, that's me," Edward said, reaching for his phone. He flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

Alice, Esme, and Jacob watched in interest.

"Yes… oh, really? Sure, I'll… Yeah, we'll meet you there. Bye," Edward flipped his phone shut again. "Jacob, let's go. Charlie Swann wants to talk with us so we're going to meet him at that Chinese restaurant downtown."

Jacob's mood brightened considerably when he found out this little piece of information.

Alice stood up, but Edward simply said, "No, Alice, stay here. I don't want my sister getting hurt."

Alice groaned and sat down, looking put out.

Jacob began striding out of the house. "Onwards, my comrade! To the Chinese restaurant!"

The two teenagers ran out the door, one after the other.

**000**

**The idea for Mr. Brightside as Edward's ring tone came from my friend Brilliant Innocence. Dude, you are SO right! That is TOTALLY Edward's song! That and "A Martyr for My Love for You" by the White Stripes. They're both great songs.**

**I hope you review, so I'll update soon! Right now I'm at 47 reviews. That's a lot – my highest reviewed story yet!**

**Thanks for reading, see you next chapter!**

**--BANDGEEK--**


	6. 20 Ways to Annoy EMMETT!

**Holy Carlisle Cullen, I have over 50 reviews! (wipes tear from eye) This is the first story I've written that's gotten that many so fast! I mean, "Kamiya, Kamp Kounselor" came in next, but still!**

**I'm touched that so many of you like my story. So this chapter is dedicated to all of my reviewers, plus missbigbex13.**

**And now… the infamous muse Kenny with her little tidbit of information!**

**KENNY: (in bored voice) Dedication I didn't have to do… um… Sorry for the wait. BandGeek and I had a hard time with this chapter, and we had help from missbigbex13 and a bunch of other people so… yeah. Most of it BandGeek did by herself so… (clap clap clap)**

**We don't own Twilight. Not even a measly paperback copy… Although… BandGeek has the book-on-CD version checked out of the library… Whatever. So yeah, Twilight's not ours.**

**Oh, and, um, if you don't get No. 4, read bellaedwardlove247's story where the Cullens AIM each other.**

**BANDGEEK: Um… (sweatdrop) Yeah. Sorry for the wait, we hope you find this equally enjoyable!**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Emmett Cullen!!

1. Ask him what his "special power" is.

2. When he says he doesn't know, smile sweetly and say, "I know what it is. It's simply your overall stupidity!"

3. Run – quick!

4. Tell him Rose only likes him because of his "shoe size" (and you know what they say about shoe sizes…)

5. Tell him, "It's not muscle – its fat."

6. Mind-control Rosalie to not let him have any. ()

7. Tell him about Rose's secret infatuation with the lack of Edward's love.

8. Tape him trying to beat up Edward and post it on YouTube.

9. Tell him Jacob thinks he's smexy.

10. Run away when he finds the YouTube video.

11. Tell him that Bella hates him.

12. Put his Jeep up for auction on eBay.

13. When he tries to win it back, bid against him.

14. Keep bidding.

15. Let him have the Jeep…

16. …at a price of 2 million dollars.

17. Mind-control Rosalie and Edward to start making out in the closet.

18. Have Emmett walk in on them.

19. Un-mind-control them when Emmett runs away crying.

20. Tape the whole scene and post it on YouTube.

000

"Good God," Charlie murmured after a pissed looking Emmett told his story. "It seems like they'll stop at nothing to annoy us."

"I'll say," Jacob agreed, taking a massive bite of lo mein.

"You eat like a pig," Edward stated bluntly, tapping his fingers lightly on the table.

"You don't eat at all," Jacob countered.

"I brought something along," Edward said, smiling as he took out a water bottle filled with the Kool-Aid like liquid again.

"Is it…" Jacob trailed off.

"Yup, it sure is, girly," Emmett said, squishing into the seat next to Charlie.

"I'm not a girl."

"It's okay to think I'm smexy," Emmett said, laughing.

"Shut up," Jacob hissed.

Charlie hadn't noticed any of this. "I say we get a computer specialist to track this stuff," he declared.

"I know someone who goes to our high school," Edward offered. "If you want I'll call 'em tonight."

"Great! Give them a call."

000

THE NEXT DAY…

"Hey, I'm Kogami Manabe. Nice to meet you all," a tall dark haired girl said, smiling widely and shaking everyone's hand.

"I was expecting…" Jacob started, but cut himself off. That would be dumb to say.

"What problem do you have?" she asked politely.

"Do you know where these e-mails are coming from?" Edward asked, handing the Asian girl the print-outs.

"I can find out, and I'll let you know as soon as I can," she replied, opening her orange and yellow pineapple laptop her best friend Koushiro had given her for her birthday.

The four men left the room and let the techie genius go to work.

000

**Kogami is a Japanese name meaning "mirror" and Manabe is Kakeru's last name. If you read Fruits Basket, you'll know what I mean. I love Kakeru!! He's so adorable and walks the line between idiodicy and pure genius!**

**I'm sorry it took so long, but if you give me a review (and maybe some ideas?) I'll go faster.**

**Thanks!**

**--BANDGEEK--**


	7. 20 Ways to Annoy JASPER!

**Guess who's back with a SICK NASTY AWESOME UPDATE?!**

**Depthmon: Um… me?**

**The Deimon Commander From Hell: It's gotta be him. (points at Depthmon)**

**BG: (looking annoyed) No, not him.**

**TDCFH: Well, he's the only one with a good update so far, so…**

**BG: IT'S ME YOU IDIOT!!**

**TDCFH: (winces) Jeez, not so loud, wouldja? I'm tired…**

**Depthmon: How are you tired? It's not even four in the afternoon yet!**

**TDCFH: (holds up AK-47) I can be tired if I want to be!**

**Depthmon: O…k… Um… Doritos anybody?**

**TDCFH: (snatches bag and munches happily)**

**Depthmon: (sweatdrops) You were saying?**

**BG: Oh, right. Well, I wrote a new chapter of this!**

**Skipper713: (waltzing in) Finally! We've been waiting forever!**

**Depthmon: Who invited **_**you**_**?**

**BG: I did. Now, like I was **_**saying**_**, I wrote this list with the help of my friends **missbigbex13** and **bellaedwardlove247.** I luv you guys!!**

**BEL247: Aw… I love you too, BG, in that non-homosexual way. (glomps)**

**Depthmon: Can we get on with this now?**

**BG: Right-o! Kenny?**

**Kenny: (pops out of nowhere) BandGeek doesn't own Twilight. If she did, she'd be married to Seth Clearwater.**

**Seth Clearwater: (gulps)**

**BG: Enjoy!**

**000**

20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Jasper Hale!

1. Yell, "CONFEDERATES SUCK!" at him.

2. Run… fast.

3. Give him a Confederate suit…

4. …and burn it.

5. Tell him you know what he did with Maria.

6. When he denies everything, tell Alice.

7. Tape the consequential fight and put it on YouTube.

8. Lock him in a closet with a human…

9. …and make sure that the human is bleeding.

10. Injure Bella and blame him.

11. Watch the ensuing brawl between Jasper, Jacob, and Edward.

12. Since he's blonde, give him a piece of paper that says "TURN OVER" on both sides.

13. Wait a few hours till he figures it out and RUN!!

14. Keep making blonde jokes specifically referring to him.

15. PhotoShop a picture of Alice and Carlisle making out and give it to him.

16. Tell him you know what happens in his and Alice's room…

17. …and that you have pictures.

18. When he tries to get them back from you, hold up a lighter and threaten to set him on fire.

19. Offer to give him the negatives…

20. …if you can give him a MAKEOVER!

000

Jasper sat on the Cullen's sofa, holding his laptop on his lap with absolute horror.

Edward shoved the door open, concern stretched across his handsome features. "What?! _Another_ list?!"

Jasper nodded mutely.

Edward could sense Jasper's misery in the air, but he did his best to ignore the feeling of impending doom. "It's okay. Nobody's going to do these things to you, really!"

A howl of laughter erupted from Emmett's room and Rosalie bound down the stairs, laughing hysterically. "Jasper," she gasped. "Keep and eye on Emmett – he heard you reading those aloud!" She shrieked with mirth and ran back up the stairs again.

"_Let's hope the Manabe girl can figure out who's sending these things,"_ Edward thought to himself.

MEANWHILE…

"Kogami, when are you going to find the guy?" Jacob asked. He wanted to pummel that jerk writing those lists – somehow, the guys in the pack found out and decided to make his life a living Hell.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "This person is smart. Apparently, he's sent it around the world to other people; it's going to be difficult to track this thing. I'll call you when I have an idea of who it is.

"Thanks," Jacob sighed. "Bye." He hung up the phone and slumped onto the kitchen table. "Oi…" Who could it be? Who could it be?!

**000**

**Depthmon: Wow.**

**Skipper713: THAT WAS FREAKIN AMAZING!!**

**TDCFH: (shrugs noncommittally) Meh.**

**BG: Well, I guess that you people liked it. I had a really hard time coming up with ideas. But I now know how I'm going to end it!**

**TDCFH: You mean you didn't know before?**

**BG: Well… no.**

**Skipper and Depthmon: GASP!!**

**BG: I never know where I'm going with my stories!**

**TDCFH: Is that why you never update?**

**BG: Well… kinda.**

**Skipper and Depthmon: DOUBLE GASP!!**

**BG: Oh, shut up! The fact that I have, like, six stories going at once kind of has to do with it.**

**Depthmon: Is that why you don't ever update Triple Threat?**

**BG: Not exactly…**

**TDCFH: Do go on… (smiles evilly)**

**BG: (looks at TDCFH nervously) Um, well, I'm kind of, um, running out of BRAIN POWER! (starts singing "Brain Power")**

**Skipper: Join the club. We have matching tee-shirts! (holds one up that says "I HAVE NO MORE BRAIN POWER!"**

**Depthmon: Well, readers, tell BandGeek what you think! Adios, amigos!**

**BG: I didn't know you spoke Spanish!**

**Depthmon: (looks at her like, "Are you retarded or what, I already said this!!")**

**BG: (not noticing) So long, farewell, adieu, and aloha! See you in the next chapter!!**

…**BANDGEEK…ROX…UR…SOX… **


	8. 20 Ways to Annoy ROSALIE!

**BandGeek99: Wow! It's been over a year since this story started, it's my most favorited, and it's my most reviewed with a grand total of 121 reviews, my highest ever! In fact, I think that's more than all the reviews of all my other stories added up!**

**Depthmon: *claps***

**The Deimon Commander From Hell: *rolls eyes* Boo-frikkity-hoo, aru. You act like its some kind of amazing feat.**

**Depthmon and BG: *gape***

**TDCFH: *continuing with rant* It's merely from all you sissy girls reviewing going "oh, Edward, Edward, Edward!", aru! *snorts* Ridiculous, aru.**

**BG: Hey! I take offence to that!**

**Depthmon: Me, too! First off, I'm not even a girl!**

**TDCFH: Which scares me slightly, aru.**

**Depthmon: *ignoring rude comment* And secondly, I don't review cuz I love Edward! I like the action in the plot, okay?**

**BG: *snickers* Who are you kidding? You just have a good hankering for a romance.**

**Depthmon: *groans in frustration***

**MissBigBex13: *pops out of nowhere* So, Kat, are you going to write this or are you going to bicker with your little idiot friends?**

**TDCFH and Depthmon: O.o Who the hell are you (aru)?**

**MBB13: I'm… a friend… *evil smile***

**BG: This is Big Bex, she's here to help!**

**TDCFH and Depthmon: *gulp***

**Kenny: *pops out of nowhere… again…* DISCLAIMER TIME!**

**BG: Knock yourself out.**

**MBB13: Oh, don't worry, I'll do it for you. Heh heh heh…**

**Kenny: BandGeek doesn't own Twilight. If she did, there would be a tad bit more to each character and Bella would be less of a whiny pants.**

**BG: Well spoken! *claps***

**Kenny: *bows* Enjoy!**

**000**

20 Ways to Annoy… Rosalie!

Replace her bottle of shampoo with a bottle of black dye.

When she throws a tantrum, laugh.

Tell her that you've found a way to bring her ex-fiancé back from the dead.

Laugh when she barricades herself in her room.

Shove her in a small closet with a pervy human boy.

Remind her… She can't kill him.

Have Alice shave her head in a makeover.

Refuse to get her a wig.

Hightail it out of there before she gets a butcher's knife!

Rob her of her cosmetic products and watch her flip.

Tell her she's a sucky musician.

Cut the strings on her piano.

Total her Mustang.

Take her mechanic's tools and bury them at the bottom of the Atlantic.

Take Emmett's phone and set her ring tone to "Ugly Girl" (a real song (I can't think of the artist)

Laugh as she freaks out at Emmett for being a malevolent jerk.

Give her obnoxious pet names (e.g. Barbie, Bratty McGee, Bitch-a-zoid).

Use said pet names frequently.

Tell her that animal blood is high in fat.

Say to her, "Rose! Rose! Have you seen Jack? Rose, look! Rose, it's Jack! Rose, you've got to save Jack, Rose!"

"THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, EMMETT!" Rosalie roared, shoving the printout violently in her mate's face.

Emmett, who had been innocently playing MarioKart Wii on his 42'' flat screen, looked up. His face was absolutely appalled, his golden eyes seriously hurt and his expression screaming "Kodak moment!" He hit the plus button on the Wii-mote and whined, "But Rosie, how is it my fault?!"

"I don't know, it just is! If you really loved me, you'd make sure that nobody knew this crap about me!" The blonde girl ranted and ranted, tossing old issues of Seventeen across the room, chucking a high-heel at Emmett's head, and pounding her fist through the wall.

Carlisle silently appeared at the door, his lip trembling. "My beautiful house… Why must you break it so?!" If he'd still been human, there was no doubt in his mind that tears would be streaming down his face and he'd be flying a white flag.

"Rose, sweetie?"

"What?" she growled.

"Is it… Is it your Japanese Flag Day, by any chance?" Emmett asked quietly, ignoring his foster father in the doorway.

Rosalie was enraged. "EMMETT!"

000

Kogami Manabe almost cackled as she found the final deportation site of the mysterious lists. _SilverSunPickupsFanatic, you're in for it._

The dark-haired girl had Edward Cullen's number halfway dialed on her ancient Nokia when a thought occurred to her.

_Then again... What those guys don't know… Well, that can't hurt them now…_She grinned wickedly and shut off her phone, resting her size-6 feet up on her desk next to her laptop.

Heh.

**000**

**Only a chapter or two more to go. I think the only one of the Cullens that's left is Carlisle. (I'm not doing Renesmee. I don't particularly **_**like**_** Renesmee.) So… yeah. Review, review, review, people!**

**QUICK TRIVIA!!**

**Who was Carlisle modeled after in this chapter? Here are a few hints as to whom it was he was modeled after:**

_-Lazy  
-Lecherous  
-Has a thing for high school girls  
-Is a novelist (writes romance)  
-Shares his house with two teenage cousins and their female friend  
-Wears traditional robes at ALL TIMES  
-Is possessed with a dog  
-Could very well be gay with a certain dress-maker  
-Wrote a song that goes, "High school girls, High school girls, one two three! High school girls! High school girls, High school girls, all for me, high school girls!_

**If you're a real otaku, you should be able to guess this one ^.^**

**Anyway, reviews are lovely, I could go for one right now!! (Pwetty please?)**

**Adios--  
BANDGEEK**


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